Mom was a dragon.
Well, maybe because she was born on the Year of the Dragon. But yes, she was a dragon. Fierce, frank, straightforward and down right scary. Only people who dared to hear the truth would go to her and ask advice. Mom was not afraid to say things even if the person concerned would be within earshot. “It’s the truth”, is what she would say. And my sister, dad and I would go red from embarrassment. Maybe that’s why people were afraid of pissing her off.
As a kid, I would wonder things were that way. But I’d just keep it to myself, lest she get mad at me judging her that way.
Mom was strict. Ohhhh boy was she very strict. Whenever she’d get mad, after each of her lectures, she’d never fail to say, “When you grow older you’ll tell yourself, ‘mommy was right’”.
But Mom, being that dragon that she is, had a lot of patience. A lot of kindness in her heart. But once she gets mad, especially when people abuse her kindness, you would not want to be in a room with her.
Over time I slowly realized where mom was coming from. What made her the tough cookie that she was. What made her know all the right answers and expect things before they even came about. I attribute all these to years of experience, years of living alone in a big booming city oceans away from home.
Mom went through a lot. When I was a kid, she’d tell us stories of her travels, of her life. She told stories of her success, heartbreaks, and pain. She endured this on her own and instead of folding in, she continuously stood up. I guess every time she stood up she became stronger. Do this for 30 years and you have one solid foundation.
Many people (friends and family) clashed with her beliefs. They were too modern in an old-fashioned and traditional culture. That’s because mom was a non-conformist. Life taught her to be independent, not to rely on anyone but herself. She did things because she wanted to and what the situation called for. Not because people wanted her to. She was never influenced by outside forces. That’s why it was so hard to break her shell.
Mom trusted a lot. But it took time and effort to get her to warm up to you. Amazingly she knew when someone was bad news. But people never listened to her because they thought it was impossible to judge someone that way too early. But in the end, you’ll know she was right and you’ll hear her say, “I told you so.”
Mom was wise beyond her years. It’s just so sad that everyone, family included, realized it this late, during the last few years of her life.
On Mother’s Day, I will be missing this Dragon Lady.
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